Sunday, May 17, 2009


I am pretty sure if I could just write, all the time...I would. Drag food to wherever my laptop is, drink too much coffee, melt my brain.

Leaves me remembering the yin/yang juxtaposition. It's the afflictions we have that make the journey all the sweeter. My afflictions drive me, for sure. If I didn't have any...well, I am positive I would go in search of some.

I'll look back eventually and remember how difficult the learning curve for all this was. How I have to balance my guilt at spending so much time writing that I am sure that I neglect my family ( I don't!) and how this is all taking so much longer than I really want it to, which is only my lack of patience.

It will make it so much more worth it when I get there.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bad...or good??

No clue. Brain, melted. My only thought right now, is 18 pages of smokin hot sex TOO much??? lol..sheesh. I may have overdone it. Or not.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Aiyeee...I'm addicted!

Stayed up til almost three am reading Out of Control by Shannon McKenna, book three (I think) of her McCloud brothers series. Holy crap...I love her intensity with her characters. Whew...

Yes....dammit, I'm going to write today!

I think while I wait for my print copy of Shallow Grave to show up, I'm going to dive into Evie Byrne's Called by Blood ;) Gotta love those vampires, and I can get my instant gratification in ebook format. LOVE ebooks...cause I'm just not patient.

Friday, May 8, 2009


I have to do something with this blog..right?? So here's a scene that I dashed out one night. Typically how I start my books, which this will be one day. I already know these two in my head, and I have their story mapped, but other WIP's are calling. So in the meantime I figured I'd finally let you all see something I actually wrote! No name for it yet...I'll work on it.

Oh...and it's only rough edited..but it's just for fun anyway!

It wasn’t a total shock that he was leaning in, slowly, his eyes telling her exactly what he was about to do to her lips. Building for five days now, the glances, the constant prying questions, the way he had of just leaning back in that dominating male pose, legs kicked out, arms crossed over that muscular chest, just sizing her up. She just didn’t think he was going to give in to it.

She didn’t think she would want him to so badly.

His lips were full, dark, cornered by that one little dimple she liked to watch, always with just a little stubble grazing those cheeks, scruffy that didn’t match the neatly trimmed goatee she’d wanted to feel scraping her chin more than once. She’d been watching him alright, but more like for some entertainment to keep her mind off of things, she didn’t really take him seriously. Well, besides the several sex fantasies that seemed to be popping up nightly. She wasn’t exactly going to be here much longer to start something, no matter how attracted to him she was.

She was paying attention now.

“Kiss me, Lex.” His brown eyes were challenging, a little humor in them.


“Yeah, you can. Drop the shit, I know there’s something up here, just not what exactly. That scum bag biker isn’t your husband, and you damn well know it.” His lips teetered over hers, but he wasn’t going to give them to her. He was going to make her come get it.

She considered it.

The loud crash outside sent them both scuttling apart. She knew why she did it, she was surprised he did.

One scum bag biker, as requested.

Ace busted through the door, bitching and rubbing his shin. His greasy blond hair hung half in his face, and he was wearing the same sweat stained clothes as yesterday over his broad belly. He hiked up his jeans, something he did often, having no ass to keep them from falling.

“What’s up babe? Almost lunch, I was thinkin maybe I’d get that pussy of a boss of yours to let you outta here and come out with me.”

“For what?” She didn’t even grace him by looking at his face when she answered.

“What the fuck you think?”

Nice. Such class. She’d had enough of this, and Cade was right, something was up, and now that he knew it, it was time to move on.

“What I think, Ace, is that I’m tired of this show. I’m tired of your smelly, dirty ass groping me.” She peeled his hand off her ass, and laid it on the tall counter top at the front of the office where she was standing.

“You know what you’re doin, bitch? Throwing your life in the hole? What for?” He stole a sideways glance at Cade.

All men could tell when another man was lusting after his woman, even a biker scum bag like Ace, even if she wasn’t really his woman. “I get it, you want to fuck the nice little pussy boy over there. Or, he wants to fuck you.” His hand slid down over her again, this time grabbing her crotch, hard. “I’ve been keepin you safe for a week, bitch, and you haven’t given me the time of day, and you’re gonna spread your legs for that prick?”

“Ace, get your hand out from between my legs. Now.”

“Or what? Think that little pussy over there is going to do something?”

It looked like he might. Cade was seething, the muscles in his chest were twitching. His hands were poised, like he was looking to be ready to grab something. She knew that stance. Shit, it all came clear in an instant. This was melting down in a hurry.

“How about this, asshole.” She grabbed Ace’s hand with her left, yanked the small blade she kept hidden in her waist with her right, and impaled his hand to the counter. His yowl of pain could probably be heard across the parking lot. To add insult to injury, she grabbed his balls and squeezed, hard.


“Yeah, what the fuck.” She looked to Cade. His eyes were narrowed, still looking like he was reaching for a sidearm, except he didn’t have one. On him, anyway. Her little display had frozen him into taking a whole new assessment of the situation.

“Let me save you the trouble, Cade.” She fished her badge out of her pocket and threw it on the counter next to Ace’s bleeding hand. “FBI.”

“Rogue, FBI agent. Wanted, FBI Agent.” Ace hissed.

“Set up, FBI agent, to you asshole.” She tightened her grip on his balls.

“I kept you safe, now what the fuck you gonna do?”

“You kept me safe so I wouldn’t spill to your brothers that you are scamming from them, so your sorry ass don’t end up dead. We traded favors. Consider our deal done.”

She released his soon to be sore and swollen balls, and backed up a step. Cade was opening a desk drawer, slowly. He pulled out a holstered Glock 33, slid it over his shoulder, taking his time closing the strap across that broad chest. Watching her. Next was the badge, he flashed it at her briefly, then slipped the leather bound clip over the belt on his jeans. “US Marshal, ma’am, glad to meet you finally.” He did a mock hat tip to her.

“Your name still Cade?”

“Yep. Your name still Lex?”

“Yep. Now what? You here for me?” Rhetorical question.

“Mmmm hmmm.” He leaned back in his usual pose again, watching.

“What are we doing with him?” Nodding towards Ace, who looked like he wanted to bolt out the door.

“Let his biker brother’s sort him out, Lex, they’ll give him the what for. What’s he been scammin?”

“Booze, cash, a little bit of personal drug stash.”

“He got any of it stowed somewhere?” He moved in next to Ace, giving him a nice ‘if you fucking move I’ll tear your ass to pieces’ grin.

“Yeah, some cases of whiskey, some cash.”

“Let’s just truss him up and leave him as a present, then. Then you and I can get down to business.” He cocked his eyebrow at her, and a strand of hair fell across his forehead. Why, did the man have to be sexy?

“Which is?”

“Well, me takin you into custody, of course.”

The look in his eye when he said it made her nervous.

“Cade, you don’t know me for shit, but, I can tell you…”

“Shhhh." He actually put his finger up to her lips when he shushed her. "I said takin you into custody, I didn’t say takin you in. Seems to me, we got a lot more, uh, sorting out to do before we figure out if you’re dirty like I was told, or gonna end up dead because someone else is.”

“You’re giving me a chance?” It was impossible to maintain her passive look at his revelation she might not go down at his hands. At least not yet.

“To prove yourself, yeah. I think a weeks worth of watchin you ought to be enough for me to smell something’s not right here. You got anything that’ll convince me you’re not, uh, dirty?”

The meaning in his words drove straight between her legs. Damn, she finally had a chance, another anybody on the side of the law finally willing to listen to her, and the only thought in her head was not him listening to her, but him fucking her. Hard.

An hour later, after leaving one scum bag biker named Ace trussed up with his sixteen cases of whiskey, an envelope of dirty cash and a note that said ‘don’t kill him, just fuck him up’ along with Cade’s business card in the back of Ace’s ratty pick up truck; they pulled into a long dirt driveway, and a neat one story rambler style ranch house with a pole barn in the back. The ride had been quiet. He didn’t ask any questions, she wasn’t going to fill up the space with anything that wasn’t going to help her out of the mess she was in.

“This your place, Cade?” Another rhetorical question. She excelled at those.

“Mmm hmm.”

“Taking a hell of a risk, there cowboy. Can I ask why?” It wasn’t like she didn’t have a hint why. She mulled how the hell to decide if having really dirty sex with him would hurt her chances, or help. That sex with him was the first thing on her mind was already not a good sign.

“I’m not an idiot, Lex. I’ve been watchin you all week, you’re pretty straight, and if I’m reading you right, which I usually do, you aren’t the type to get dirty. So, that leaves what you said, you got set up. It happens, I’ve seen it. I’m not gonna be the one to get you killed if in fact that’s the way this is goin down.”

“So now what? You have to report it, right?”

“Far as they know I’m still just biding my time, watching you. Gives me a bit to think things through.”

“How the hell did you end up there in front of me, anyway? I didn’t even know where I was going.”

“Neither did I, but after the trail kind of led me into that biker bar, I figured you went underground a little, hooked up with someone who knew the streets. Only two biker gangs round here worth a spit, and only a coupla bikers dumb enough to get stuck in the middle of a mess like this. I was at the hotel office, askin if Ace had been around when you walked in, lookin for the job. Manager already knew who I was, I told her to keep quiet, and I, uh, made an executive decision to commandeer the maintenance job so I could keep my eye on you, figure out what was going on.”

“Why didn’t you just arrest me? You knew who I was all along, didn't you?"

He parked the truck, and turned to face her. “Yeah, I knew. I’m not stupid, Lex. Only a fool who wanted to spend some time trying to figure out how to clear their name would stay on this side of the border for long, and you actually got a job, how’s that for stickin around? Figured I'd just wait, see what shook out.”

He was right, he was not stupid. It didn’t even bother her he’d just called her a fool, because that’s exactly what she had been to get into this mess. Exactly what she was being right now.

“Come on. I need a beer.” He climbed out, strode around to the front of the truck waiting for her.

He let her go ahead of him, in that typical way of his, not pushy, sort of to keep an eye on her she knew, but also, because he was all gentleman, he had been all week. Up until he decided to kiss her, anyway.

“So why you keep callin me cowboy? I don’t wear a Stetson, never been on a horse in my life.”

“You’re from Texas. Hell, we’re in Texas, every man down here is a cowboy of some kind. What do you ride?” Oh christ on a crutch did she really just say that?

He didn't even flinch, but his grin was almost ear to ear. “Mostly my pick up. Got a Harley in the garage, don’t get to use it as much as I’d like.”

He opened the door, and held it for her as she went inside. She was surprised, it was neat, modern. Lots of wood, walls alternated between deep rust colors and tans, hardwood floors, big comfortable furniture. He went towards a doorway at the back of the dining room that opened off of the foyer, waving for her to follow. The kitchen was just as clean, just as modern.

“You married, Cade?”

He snorted. “Would your ass be parked in my kitchen if I was?”

“Good point. Just wondered, this, uh…your place is nice.”

“What, men have to live in a pig sty? Talk about your stereotypes, Lex.”

He pulled two beers from the fridge, offering her one. She took a long pull, a cold beer never tasted so good. He watched her drink it, watched her lick the foam from her lips with that hungry look again.

“Weapons. On the table, now girl.” He stood in front of the stainless steel fridge across the table from her, beer bottle hanging between his fingers, staring her down.

“What makes you think…”

“I’m only going to do this one time, Lex. Don’t fuck with me. You want me to take your side, be honest. Brutally honest. All the time. I don’t give second chances. You give me what I want, I can be very soft, easy to get along with. You fuck with me, you’ll find out just how hard that’ll be.”

This was a whole new Cade, not the quiet, relaxed looking Cade that had been following her like a puppy for days. This Cade was all business, all lawman, and tough.

“Ok, cowboy, sorry. Just a habit, I usually spend most of my time undercover with dirt bags, and I have to keep an edge.”

“No edge needed with me, Lex. You’re either dirty, or your not, plain an simple, but I’m not going to pull any punches, you’re going to know exactly what I’m doing, and what I’m thinking. I expect the same from you. Clear?”

“Clear.” She pulled her service revolver out of the holster at the small of her back, laying it on the table. Then she pulled the blade she'd retrieved from Ace's hand out of her waistband, and threw it down as well. Finally, she fished the Walther P99 out of her leather jacket, the holster was custom, sewn into the lining.

“That it?”

“Yes cowboy, that’s it. I told you we were clear.”

He moved to the table, unhooking the strap from his holster. He laid his on the table with hers.

“Mind if I check myself?” He moved close to her, hands spread out in a gesture of I won’t touch you until you say so.

“Check away, cowboy.”

First, he slid her jacket off her shoulders, tossing it on the pile of weapons on the table. Then he began patting her down, except it wasn’t a cursory check like he should be doing. He bent low, starting at her ankles, giving the high tops of her black riding boots a squeeze through her jeans. Then he slid his hands up both legs, over her hips, and rose to stand nose to nose with her. His hands slid over her waist, up under her arms. His brawny hands pushed her arms up, to hold them out for him to finish his search, then he moved in over her ribs, barely brushing the swell of her breasts with the back of his hand. He had a wicked little grin when her breath caught in her throat. He pulled her arms back down, then he rested his hands on her shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes.

“So, cowboy, what are you looking for, you don’t trust me? I told you I was clear on what you said.”

His hands slid lower, not even close to patting her down, he was caressing her body. Fingers brushed over the front of her breasts, down her belly, came to rest on her hips. She stopped breathing, afraid if she let out anything, it was going to be a long slow whimper.

“I know you are. I’m not checking for anything, Lex. I’m feelin you up.”

Then his hands moved again. One moved around and gripped her ass, the other slid straight between her legs, he cupped her entire crotch in one of those brawny hands, pulling her up hard, and that whimper did escaped her. It only stopped because his lips closed over hers, swallowing that moan along with her tongue.

When he stopped, she had to lean back on his kitchen table, the feel of those soft lips still on her mouth. The heat of his hand still burning through her even after he pulled it away.

“Cade, what are you doing?”

Rubbing his hand over his face, he shrugged. “I don’t know, Lex. For once, I’m a little bit messed up. You’ve been doing that to me for the last few days.”

He kissed her again, long and slow, and his fingers ran gently over her belly.

“This is a terrible idea, Cade.” Her slight panting begged to differ.

“You sure that’s what you think? Remember, honest.”


“Thought so. Kiss me, Lex.”

She moved her mouth to his, a little wary. This man overpowered her easily with just his essence. He tasted like a man. Spearmint gum, chap stick, aftershave and the need for sex. It tasted like heaven to her.

Pushing deeper, she teased his lips open with her tongue. He groaned into her mouth, and before she could stop herself she was grabbing the tight black t-shirt he was wearing, yanked it right out of his jeans, and pulled it over his head.

His skin was like suede, tanned, soft but a man’s skin, tough and durable. The warm musky smell of him, also kind of like new leather mixed with something spicy, sent a flood of wet between her thighs.

“You are a feisty little thing aren’t you?” He said against her neck as he reached around behind her, lifting her up into his chest.

“Not usually. It’s just you. Must be that cowboy thing.”

“Not a cowboy girl, never have been.”

“Well whatever you are, Cade, it’s making me crazy.”

“Mmm mmm mmm…that’s good to hear.”

Her shirt was lifting over her head and before she knew it, his fingers deftly unlatched her bra and it was gone. He pulled her into his chest, all that warm skin connecting together.

“Damn, that feels good. You like it Lex?”

“You have no idea.” Like it? It sucked the freaking breath out of her, left her skin tingling, every part of her body blushing with something hot.

“Oh, I think I do. You’re driving me crazy too, or I wouldn’t be doing this. I can’t get you out of my head, can’t get my dick to go back to normal for nothing, so the way I figure it, we gotta work this out a bit, before we really work things out.” He shifted, sliding her breasts down his thick pectorals, that ridge of muscle bumping against her nipples. She heard a little moan escape her.

“I like that sound, Lex, I like it alot.” His voice was gruff in her ears. “Something we gotta cover, here before we get past the point of no return.”


“I’m inclined to think you are innocent, Lex, and I’m not an idiot. But there’s no proof yet you are, and this whole thing is enough of a hairy mess as it is. I’ll admit, I’m just addin to the confusion, but I can’t help myself. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to change anything, Lex, however this all goes down, is however it all goes down. You know that right? Whatever this is between us, that’s what it is, just between us, and it ain’t got nothin to do with the rest of it.”

“If you’d have said anything different, Marshal, I’d have put my clothes back on and kicked your ass right here.”

“What?” He actually looked surprised.

“No self respecting law man would ever let a little sex get in the way of the big picture. I know this is wrong, Cade, but we both can’t seem to get past it. I also know, you’ll have your proof soon enough about me.”

“This ain’t gonna be a little sex, Lex. I’ve been ramping up to losing it with you for days, it’s gonna take a long while to work the ache outta me you got built up.” His hands stroked her back slowly.

“Well, then let’s get started, cowboy.” She whispered into his neck. Fighting her nerves, the warm smell of his skin and his husky voice were definitely winning out.

“One more thing. I need to hear you say it, Lex.”

“Say what?”

“Just so we’re clear, you are makin this choice, on your own. Nothin to do with that badge over there.j" He leaned in close to her ear, his breath rushing over her skin. "Tell me you want me Lex.” He whispered.

“I want you Cade, I’ve been wanting you, it’s all I can think about for the last few days too. You’ve been keeping me awake at night cowboy.”

“Ahh...Lex, that’s all I needed to know.” He wrapped his hands around her ass again, yanking her hard up into his chest, bringing her lips to his.