Christmas Gifts

Strange how things can pick you up and shake you just when you think you are in charge of it all, isn't it? This last couple of weeks was a little rough, (hell, who am I kidding the last couple of years have been an endurance test!) but the tail end here, especially. The perfect storm of life events that just kind of make you feel like you are sliding in socks on a hardwood floor; out of control and almost crashing, hoping like hell you don't,a little bit of a rush but terrifying at the same time. Some of it has not been pretty, some of it, has been completely amazing. None of it was anything I expected, and most of it, was not anything I had a choice about. (And the ones I did I didn't handle well!)

The biggest thing? The gift of coming out of it all with more than I went in with. I've learned things like I just took and advanced intensive class on life. At 43. Who knew. For the first time in a long time I have that just cleaned out the closets feeling. Stripped down and bare, the kind that makes you feel like you want to scream SHUT THE DOOR SHUT THE DOOR! but at the same time when it's all gone, and you make room for new things, you feel sort of brand new.

Life doesn't always give us the opportunity to shove ourselves forward like this, and it's usually in a way we'd prefer it not to happen. However the gifts we can give ourselves are the most important of all. Looking at things as they are,looking at people as they are, sometimes letting the pain of a difficult situation burn out things that don't belong, taking the lessons that life and people give you and really accepting them, even if it's something we didn't think we wanted to learn. And making sure everything we put back in that nice clean space is worth accepting.

I'm looking forward to the coming year. No matter what comes. I'm hoping for some very positive and long time coming (like...life long!) dreams to be realized, and who knows what else will come. Whatever it is, positive or negative I know I will learn from it, and I know I've deemed myself worth accepting whatever gifts life gives, whether they come looking like a pretty wrapped package or a pot hole, I know I'll walk away with something new.

To my family and friends and everyone, I hope your gifts in life for the coming year are amazing, and thanks for what you've brought to mine.

Love to you all;
Caprice

Thrill Seekers Snippet

Ok..this is a rough draft..meaning..needs some editing. But since I've sucked royally at posting I thought I better get something up. So, here's some hot dirty sex to keep you all busy until I can get my Fire Fighters Menage submitted and we see if I get to be legit!

Teryn felt like she was being stalked. Slowly, methodically, mercilessly. He’d not said one word about her bolting out on him this morning. He’d even shown up with a bottle of wine to have with dinner.

“Here. Give this a try.”

“I’m not much of a wine drinker.” Her nose crinkled at the memory of all the past disasters of trying to like the stuff.

“You’ll like this. Try it.”

Taking a small sip, she was surprised how good it was. Wine usually was too bitter for her taste, she’d tried everything from cheap to expensive, and ended up decided that Boone’s Farm often tasted better than crap that cost ten times as much. Not this. This was delicious. She took another long sip.

“That, is just excellent.”

“Told you.”

You’ll learn to trust me one of these days. She could see it on his face, but he didn’t say it. That was almost worse than having to hear it and respond.

They made dinner together, falling into a relaxed easy rhythm. A comfortable back and forth that neither had to force. Exactly what she was pretending was just the in betweens for the incredible sex they were having. They cooked, laughing, talking, moving together in tandem like they already knew all the ins and out’s of each other’s habits. They ate, cleaned up, laughed, and talked some more. About everything, bad habits, politics, weird stories from their childhood, anything and everything.

But typically confrontational Grant, didn’t say one word about that elephant staring them down from right between their noses. And that put her on edge. She was getting used to him blurting out things, things designed to push her, things designed to incite her, things designed to just flat out make both of them hotter than an August Sunday. Not saying it, that was new.

He poured her another glass of wine when they were finishing putting the food away. Then he grabbed her, easily, lifting her to his chest, kissing her with the hunger she knew all too well, the hunger that she understood.

“Time for dessert.”

“We didn’t make dessert.”

“You know as well as I do what I’m talking about. And you’re it.”

He had her jeans down her thighs before she could blink, nipping at her panties. Then they were gone too. He lifted her easily and sat her on the table. Another table, the tremor went through her thighs.

He moved in between them, spreading her open to him, as they both reached for his shirt at the same time. Just like making dinner, moving together like they were synchronized, not having to talk to know what came next, one move spurring on another.

The feel of that soft as suede thick male skin sent a shiver through her, she could never get enough of how it felt on her, under her hands. He didn’t give her much of a chance to run her hands over him this time, instead he dropped down and his big shoulders, all those tiny muscles moving beneath his skin were hunkered down between her thighs, and those deep blue eyes were burning at her under his thick black lashes.

“Take off your shirt.”

The buttons flew through her fingers, shirt tossed who knew the hell where. The clasp of her bra was open before he could mouth the words because she knew he would. Teasing, she held it there just a moment, clutched to her chest before she slowly let it slide down over her hard nipples.

“Tease. I can play that game, too.” He dipped his head in low and she felt his breath roll gently across the dampness between her legs. He gently flicked his tongue over the outer edges of her, lightly, his breath cooling every warm place it touched. Thigh muscles tightening she felt her skin jump with shivers, she gripped the edge of the table and he had barely touched her yet. He licked the spot at the top of her thigh he’d stroked so softly the night before, and she felt a warm gush of wetness.

“That for me?” He whispered, as he dove his tongue into her, lapping at her softly, then driving his tongue in deep, swirling it inside her until she thought she was going to crack the edge of the table with her grip.

“Like that baby?”

“Yes…god Grant, you are driving me insane.”

“I haven’t even started yet. Better hang on.” His tongue shot straight from the very top, to the very bottom of her entire wet pink slit. Her ass was barely connected with the table anymore, it was all she could do not to strain hard into his soft lips, wanting to sit back and enjoy the pleasure, but her body was doing a 180 and wanting to grind hard into his mouth. Now.

This, was what she understood about her and Grant. This raw impulse, the deep sexual connection they effortlessly shared. The sweetness of the night before had been deep, if not deeper than this sheer powerful lust, and much, much more terrifying. Tonight, she was back in territory she could maneuver. That had been his plan all along, calm her nerves with what he knew neither of them shied away from, and she’d been led here by the master. She didn’t care, she needed to feel more of that tongue.

Not that Grant wasn’t intent on giving her a lot more of it. He moved slowly back up, licking and sucking her pink flesh into his mouth the entire way. Knowing he would reach her clit before long her whole body tensed, ready for the shock and when it came, it sent her rocketing off the table almost completely into his mouth.

As always, he had anticipated her reaction and his big hands caught her easily, squeezing her ass hard, holding her back down and continuing his offensive. He pulled his tongue back and sucked gently on her, pulling her between his lips, then flicking the tip of his tongue over that throbbing knot.

“I can’t take it, Grant!”

“Yes you can baby.” He murmured into her pussy, but he let up on the tongue thrashing he’d been giving her clit and moved lower, sucking and lapping at the now constant flow of cream flooding from her. “You taste so damn good. I’m so fucking hard just from licking you.”

The image of his thick cock pushing those jeans to the extreme fatigue test sent a fresh set of chills through her. “I want you in me…”

“Uh uh… not yet.” She felt a thick finger slide inside of her and she fell back into the haze. He pulled it back, sliding her own wetness down further over her putting his tongue back to work. Softer this time, light circles moving slowly around the outer edges of her clit, enough to make her moan and bite her lip, not enough to let her slide over the edge and come into his waiting mouth.

Then she felt the pressure of his fingers again, sliding deep into her. The next sensation sent her straight up and off the table once again, the utter corrupt bliss of his wet finger sliding easily into her tight ass.

No word to even match the sensation of both of his fingers working her in tandem with his tongue licking those light circles on her clit, all she could do is moan, rock her hips into his face, and nearly black out with the force of the blinding orgasm that he brought down on her.

Still swirling in darkness, wondering if she’d screamed his name in her head or in his ears, she tasted the tangy wetness of his lips…of her, on her mouth. His breathing was heavy and labored. Through the fog of her receding orgasm she started working on the buttons of his Levi’s. Nothing but hearing him groan out his need into her, that thick velvet cock in her hand and his pleasure, was in her head.

“What do you want Grant, tell me.”

“Just you Teryn. Always you.”

His jeans fell to his ankles and she slid her hand down over him, heard the satisfying catch in his breath as he lurched slightly backwards with her touch.

“Yes baby yes, touch me. Fucking stroke me.”

Teryn did exactly what he wanted, exactly what he asked, like she always did, always would and wanted nothing more. His ragged desire filled her as much as anything could, pulsed through her like the red hot blood pulsing through the vein of his throbbing cock, the one that was near to exploding, for her. All for her.

His voice erupted in her ear like a small roar and she felt herself lifted off the table, moving backwards so quickly she thought they were falling until the wall connected hard with her back. The force of it slamming hard into her and his body crushing her from the other side sent her breath from her lungs. It was nowhere near enough to slow the need to feel him.

Bringing her legs up high over his hips she spread herself open to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, lacing her fingers and locking them together. She felt his knees bend, and as he dipped down a little she braced for the coming feel of his cock slamming into her. When it did, the force of him filling her pushed her up off of his hips, countered by his strong arms forcing her right back down, digging deep.

He mounted her hard, fast and in a primal frenzy, she felt herself moving towards another peak, and when it came this one was long, deep, and didn’t let go of her. More of those indulgent little screams rolling from her lips, she felt the walls of her pussy tremor with the intensity of it, felt it pull against his thick flesh as he continued to drive into her, heard his gasping moans as her body clutched at him and didn’t stop.

Just as the waves of her own climax stopped flooding through her, she felt his explode, literally, the force of the shot of him coming into her felt so hot, so deep she swore she could taste him.

The not so perfect Alpha Male

If women didn't love the Alpha male, I wouldn't have a job to aspire to. Namely writing all about them. I think what's 'it' in the land of male-dom changes just like it does for women; but let's ignore the fleeting moments of who is on the hot list.

The Alpha male...strong, sometimes silent sometimes not. Dominant. Knows his mind, knows what he is and doesn't have to talk about it. We write them as leather wearing bad boys, sometimes more of a suit and tie type but still just as intense. Flawed, sure, but strong enough to overcome any flaw and when it comes down to it he can be soft with the woman he loves.

So who is your ultimate Alpha male? The Brad Pitt type? Smooth, mischievous grin and perfect face? Matthew McCaunaughey, bad boy through and through but he could still talk your panties off? George Clooney? Keanu Reeves (a personal fave..thank you) or the late great Patrick Swayze?

Here's a couple of my personal faves; rough, tough, and if he lifts that eyebrow and gives that look I'd be handing over my 'free pass' in a New York minute. (Ladies...you KNOW what the free pass is...) Maybe not your typical choices, but for me, it's more in the intensity, the power within, the brain that never stops moving encased in all that really nicely formed muscle as window dressing. Ok..so even with Fangs (or maybe more so...) this guy totally embodies my ultimate Alpha Male:

Liev Schrieber.



This guy just has to look and you can see he's sizing it up, got it totally going on. That smart ass grin telling you he's got you down and he'll be using every thing he's figured out about you in the last thirty seconds to get you to do whatever the hell he wants.



Cleans up pretty good too.




Perfect? No. Probably not a typical choice either but I'd take him hands down over almost any of the model types. Smart, tough, tall (six foot three thank you very much) solid enough to take whatever. I can picture this guy as the ultimate Alpha hero and he in fact inspired one of my tougher heros (the one who scared my crit partner she thought he was so bad ass at first!).

I have to give props to the man Gerard Butler too. God love the accent. Humor, always a button pusher and every time I see a picture of him I know he's the type of guy I would want to get close enough to just to see how he smells because you just know it would be good.


I guess it's clear at this point I like 'em a little scruffy, tough, a smart ass sense of humor and bad boy enough to take my intimidating attitude.

So comment on your favorite alpha male. The not so perfect? Perfect? What does it for you? The smile, cocky grin, humor, or just the all around tough guy vibe?

Either way...we love em, we write em..thank the universe for the Alpha male in all their variety and glory!

Tuesday Temptation

Mmmmm LOVE a guy in a nice dress shirt. That's enough to get my muse working...how about yours?

Do you Kink?

It is a Foolish Dimwit, who doesn't realize it a waste of time unless a thing concerns fucking

-Pietro Aretino, ca 1527




My writing partner and I have discussions that would likely, if we sat in a coffee shop and had them, curl the toes of most of the ‘normal’ people around us. Ahem…cough…we are normal, by the way.

Normal; adjective - Conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.
1. free from any mental state – sane
2. approximately average in any psychological trait, as intelligence, personality, or emotional adjustment.

I assure you, by the definition of the word, I am normal. My writing partner too. But if you heard us saying ‘do you think sex on the first page is too soon? Should they have anal sex? If the two guys having sex with her are…. When a man is fucking another man do they… Was her head upside down when she was giving him a blow job?’ Yep, real conversations. You’d never know it to meet me on the street. I am certainly sane, well emotionally adjusted, an extremely responsible adult / parent member of society who reads, votes, and does all that every day crap you do.

If you were in my head, would you think I’m normal? I’m not even going to go there. Depends on where you are standing, I think. How about any of the other writers I know? Same thing, I suspect. It’s how we go where we go when we write, our minds don’t have a lot of borders, in most cases. We wander, we dream, we write.

So; kink and erotic romance. There are some with kink, some without. Some read, some don’t. Some m/m, some m/m/f, some m/f/m, some just m/f. Some plain old love, lust and HEA and some BDSM, to a whole spectrum of degrees. Have no idea what those are? I need to improve your reading list!

What makes people go there? This is a question in the mind of my writing partner, for sure. I read all of the above including BDSM and write on the edges of it. Her? Not so much. The tone of a lot of it makes her tense, and some authors do use it to push plots forward with some pretty heavy pain / punishment type themes. Me, I like the mental part of it, but this isn’t about what I write, it’s about what reader’s read, and why they go there, or don’t.

I like kink when it’s used well, as part of a person’s mind set, but it doesn’t always make the story better. For her, it often makes it worse. Sometimes the essence of a man being dominant is enough, sometimes, it needs to go much further.

I often wonder, do people who live kink, read erotic romance with kink? Does it even come close to the real thing? Obviously for most readers they love to stretch their imaginations and read, but it’s a fantasy they don’t live it. I know a lot of the readers can’t share with family, even husbands what they write and read and not even the really kinky stuff, because it’s ‘out there’. Does that make it more exciting for them, taking the risk of someone finding out what they read?

So, do you kink? Does it scare you? Why do people go one way or the other. I remember a famous quote that applies I think. When asked why he climbed Mt. Everest, George Mallory replied “because it’s there.”

What's sexy?

I have been thinking about this, and since I've been a bad girl about posting (ok, you all know I like being a bad girl, but I have responsibilities to spew unnecessary wordage at you here, because I'm an attention whore!) so I needed to post, and that's my topic.

What do you find the most sexy about someone / something? My conclusion today, is the mind. That's where it all starts for me, that certain connection, that certain something. Looks, sure, spark things right off, but it can go downhill from there fast once the mouth opens, right? Then again, as all us internet savvy voyeurs know there can be a huge connection without the physical as well. The right word, the right conversation, can take you all kinds of good places. Shivery, twitchy, mental skin on skin places. This particular topic is on my mind quite a bit at the moment, and I'm having an awful lot of fun with it I must say. Now, there is always that take it one step further point, where you have to bridge the gap between mental and physical in any relationship, and the true test is if the minds connect, does the rest follow? Sometimes, if we're really lucky, yes...oh yes it does!

There are also certain things we find sexy we'll never have in our own lives, for instance I think the m/m genre of erotic fiction is extremely hot (note picture above..thank you Viv!!) HOT..very hot. Now, will I ever watch in real life, probably not, ha...I should be so lucky! But I love to read it, love to write it. So fantasies, whether you venture to them for real or not are also sexy. That's exactly what all this erotic romance is, fantasy on paper, except you can pick one up someone has written for you (hopefully soon ME!) and go live vicariously through someone else's eyes for awhile. So in that sense, aren't we all voyeurs a little? And isn't that sexy?

I'll throw out a couple of mine besides the mind; tall, dark, and my version of handsome. A little naughty, a 'nice' bad boy, so to speak. Smells good...damn that one always gets me! A really, really good conversation, someone who challenges me just a bit. Someone with that certain little spark in their eye. As for fantasies...well babies I'm writing them!

So what turns you on? What's sexy? Mind, body, activities? Fantasies? All of the above? Give us a hint, share the love and comment! If you're real, real brave, tell us which one you've lived and what was so awesome about it.

Ty's Honor is off...

*sigh. I get depressed sometimes when a story is done and sent. It's a good feeling, yes, to be finished, to be excited about getting it submitted, but with this one in particular it was hard letting go. This story kind of took me over, ran out of me in a flood, I'm not even sure my thoughts were coherent while I was writing it. It's one of those rare times I didn't have to work, even a little, to get them right, and what a feeling it was. A little addictive, maybe. Would that all my work was that easy! These two just were perfect, their love was amazing to me, and I was shocked when I was done how many of my own personal views were intwined in the story. I hadn't even thought about that when I was writing. This one was hard wired somewhere in my psyche, so thanks guys, for taking me on the ride with you.

Well here's to crossing every body part and hoping others live Ty and Mac's story as much as I do. It's at the publisher.......

Ty's Honor Snippet

Ok, in honor of my actually doing a synopsis for this, here's a little piece of my Space Opera themed m/m story. Ty and Mac are Regulator Starjet pilots, offworld on a little undercover mission. This is their first kiss.

And here's Mac and Ty...Ty's the blue eyed one. And yeah...I admit it, I could so fall in love with that picture!

“You got the sweeper device activated?”

“Yes, Mother.” Mac chuckled softly.

“Quit fucking around.” he snarled, regretting it immediately. He didn’t want to be distracted by being an asshole, or apologizing for it for that matter.

A quiet beep sent them both ramrod straight. “Yep. Set up. Shit.”

They looked around to see if anyone in the vicinity seemed obvious. None did. Moving back the way they came, trying to keep the pace calm, both scanned for somewhere to hide from the sweepers. Sweepers picked up tags and body heat at close distances, and no one else in this shit hole but them would have tags. Mac jerked his head toward one of the odd metallic cylinders. “Metal, it’ll block the body heat and the signal.”

“Fucking thing won’t fit us. You take this one, I’ll go down to the next one.”

“No time!” Mac pointed at the locator. The red dot was close, almost on top of them. Mac grabbed his arm and shoved him forward. Yanking the door open he pushed him back into the thing and crammed himself in on top of him, dragging the door shut behind him. It took three tries to get it to latch.

Once Mac was in, Ty found himself jammed full on head to toe with him. Every warm hard inch, and he was drowning in that damn scent. He took a deep breath, it stuttered through his windpipe. He tried to believe it was how smashed he was, that his hands were all but pinned next to him.

Couldn’t be that Mac’s cock was pressed against his hip. Or that it was getting hard.

Mac’s eyes grew dark, his head leaned slowly back to rest against the wall of the tube with a slight metal bong. The slightest sound echoed in the damn thing. Ty grimaced a warning to be quiet, Mac grinned. Just like him to be humorous, always diffusing something with a joke and a smile.

Ty closed his eyes, willed his breathing to steady. When he managed slow in, steady out, he lifted his lids to see Mac’s green eyes staring back, intense and bright even in the dim of the small space. He let himself really look at Mac’s face, not just the quick recognition his brain usually gave him. His cheekbones were somewhat high but not prominent, his nose straight and aristocratic even if he wasn’t, but what drew the eye was Mac’s strong masculine jaw, slightly squared, defined.

A slow grin tilted one corner of Mac’s mouth, then it disappeared. Ty had no idea what his own face was registering right now, as much as he should be trying to control it he couldn’t, it was the last thing he was thinking about. He wasn’t even thinking about the fact a sweeper might be outside right now, feet from them.

He was thinking about the fact Mac had licked his lips. For the third time. And they seemed a hell of a lot closer than they were a second ago. He was thinking about the fact he saw exactly what Mac was thinking in those green eyes and he looked like a man who was intent on doing something. Like he’d found something he’d been looking for.

Fuck.

Bad choice of words, was his next thought as Mac’s breath fluttered lightly over his cheek. His body grew rigid, he squirmed. The shifting movement against Mac brought a few more sensations into the mix. Mac’s smile actually did curve up the corners of his mouth when Ty’s dick started to go hard. It was pushed up against Mac’s leg and he had to feel every inch of it. Ty knew, because as it swelled, Mac’s thigh got tighter, shifted back and forth slightly. His smile got a little bigger too.

It was Ty’s turn to close his eyes and roll his head back, but he made sure he didn’t make a sound doing it. Oh damn oh damn oh damn…why now?

The feel of his face getting warmer made his eyes snap open again. He found exactly what he expected to see. Mac was closer. His face a few hairs from his, leaning. Slowly.

As if in a trance he watched him come, felt the flash of heat through his entire body. He could only focus on Mac’s lips. Those lush male lips, soft and full yet with a distinct edge and deep cleft over the top lip that didn’t look at all feminine. Not feminine, but damn kissable. It was right there, his lips were right there, inching closer. His gaze shot to Mac’s eyes. Dark and hooded, they shifted back and forth in a crazed kind of little dance, and he realized Mac was doing the same thing he was. Watching his lips, watching his eyes.

A wave of heat passed over his body as Mac’s lips brushed his, erotically, slowly, just a whisper. Mac watched his eyes, searched them. Then he lowered his lips again, pressing them this time, fully, but lightly.

Ty nearly moaned at the feel of them and as badly as he wanted to hold that green eyed stare his eyes rolled back. Mac’s lips were to this point in his life, the most intense thing he’d ever felt. Warm, soft, tasting like peppermint and sending a shockwave through his entire body.

He tilted his head, and kissed back. The sharp intake of breath from Mac was followed a soft sigh Ty was pretty sure would have been a moan if they hadn’t needed to be silent. That tiny brush of air vibrated through his entire body.

It was him, not Mac, who pushed it further. His tongue slipped between his lips, testing the seam of Mac’s mouth, slipping over his lips in a gentle caress. It made him shudder. When Mac opened his mouth and his tongue met his, he shuddered deeper, then considered the possibility if much further happened his stone hard cock jammed tightly against Mac’s thigh may erupt spontaneously.

It scared the shit out of him. It made him want to kiss him harder.

A blast of cool air and the feel of falling ripped through any further thoughts of impending orgasm.

“What the…” A kid with a big grey sack stared them down as they stumbled out of the tube, going immediately into a crouch, surveying the surrounding area.

The kid threw the sack in the tube, pressed a button and ran. No one else was in sight, the red dot was gone. Huge orange flames shot up inside the tube and Ty about jumped out of his skin, shared the same knowing glance with Mac. Holy hell they’d been in an incinerator.

Review of Mari Carr's Tequila Truth

Tequila Truth goes down smooth, and no lime necessary. Mari Carr’s novella is a sweet hot read that is one of those stories you really wish wouldn’t end.

The name of the story is the theme that winds throughout; a game that when played makes the players answer with total honesty the question that is asked of them. They’ve been playing it for years, but instead of getting her all male and sex obsessed roommates to get a little more introspective, Kylie finds herself blurting out a truth one night that will change things for all of them forever. Her revelation that her ultimate sex fantasy is a ménage a trios with some added kinks knocks the blinders off the two men she’s been best friends with since college, and all the sudden she doesn’t look quite like their tomboy girl buddy anymore. When it becomes obvious that she’s intent on fulfilling at least part of that fantasy, they realize that it might just be them that needs to step up and do the job, all in the name of making sure it’s done right for their best friend, of course.

Mari Carr has written three wonderful characters, and with her talents they pull you into every nuance of the relationship that unwinds between the three of them. The hero’s are both sweet and a total compliment to each other, not only are they Kylie’s lovers but also her friends, her protectors and everything a girl could hope two men could possibly be. In turn she is the liveliest part of them, giving both of them something they need beyond just the friendship she’s shared with them for years. The sexual tension builds to a smoking hot level without ever leaving the fact that these three are falling in love parked at the door. It’s an excellent read, and I highly recommend it. Tequila Truth is definitely worth taking a shot.

This is also being released in print with, another story by Mari Carr, Erotic Research, the anthology is called Learning Curves

Fixed the Comments

Sorry guys, I know several tried to comment, and I had the settings locking everyone out. Here I thought no one loved me ;)

Comment away!

Abaddon's Warriors

Book One Delilah's Curse rough draft is DONE!

I began thinking I was going to write an average lenght erotic suspence romance to epublish. Felt somehow easier, less intimidating.

Yeah, well, 155,000 words later, I can't send it to the publisher where the editor is who said 'send me any other MS you have' lol. Figures. It's too long. Like, 30,000 words too long.

So I'm sitting her intimidating the hell out of myself trying to decide if I should send it to an agent, as a test to see if I've got something worth marketing, or if I should send it straight to a NY publisher (got one in mind, they publish exactly this kind of work and actually accept unagented writers). Or just freak out.

Well, already done the latter, so I will shoot for one of the first two. As I type this I'm taking a break from my synopsis, which in itself is running it's little game of intimidation and frustration in my head. Nice synopsis, just shut up and put yourself on the paper, will you dammit!!

God I love being a writer.

Whatever...

I am pretty sure if I could just write, all the time...I would. Drag food to wherever my laptop is, drink too much coffee, melt my brain.

Leaves me remembering the yin/yang juxtaposition. It's the afflictions we have that make the journey all the sweeter. My afflictions drive me, for sure. If I didn't have any...well, I am positive I would go in search of some.

I'll look back eventually and remember how difficult the learning curve for all this was. How I have to balance my guilt at spending so much time writing that I am sure that I neglect my family ( I don't!) and how this is all taking so much longer than I really want it to, which is only my lack of patience.

It will make it so much more worth it when I get there.

Bad...or good??

No clue. Brain, melted. My only thought right now, is 18 pages of smokin hot sex TOO much??? lol..sheesh. I may have overdone it. Or not.

Aiyeee...I'm addicted!

Stayed up til almost three am reading Out of Control by Shannon McKenna, book three (I think) of her McCloud brothers series. Holy crap...I love her intensity with her characters. Whew...

http://www.shannonmckenna.com/outofcontrol.html

Yes....dammit, I'm going to write today!

I think while I wait for my print copy of Shallow Grave to show up, I'm going to dive into Evie Byrne's Called by Blood ;) Gotta love those vampires, and I can get my instant gratification in ebook format. LOVE ebooks...cause I'm just not patient.
http://samhainpublishing.com/romance/called-by-blood

Snippet

I have to do something with this blog..right?? So here's a scene that I dashed out one night. Typically how I start my books, which this will be one day. I already know these two in my head, and I have their story mapped, but other WIP's are calling. So in the meantime I figured I'd finally let you all see something I actually wrote! No name for it yet...I'll work on it.



Oh...and it's only rough edited..but it's just for fun anyway!




It wasn’t a total shock that he was leaning in, slowly, his eyes telling her exactly what he was about to do to her lips. Building for five days now, the glances, the constant prying questions, the way he had of just leaning back in that dominating male pose, legs kicked out, arms crossed over that muscular chest, just sizing her up. She just didn’t think he was going to give in to it.

She didn’t think she would want him to so badly.

His lips were full, dark, cornered by that one little dimple she liked to watch, always with just a little stubble grazing those cheeks, scruffy that didn’t match the neatly trimmed goatee she’d wanted to feel scraping her chin more than once. She’d been watching him alright, but more like for some entertainment to keep her mind off of things, she didn’t really take him seriously. Well, besides the several sex fantasies that seemed to be popping up nightly. She wasn’t exactly going to be here much longer to start something, no matter how attracted to him she was.

She was paying attention now.

“Kiss me, Lex.” His brown eyes were challenging, a little humor in them.

“I…can’t.”

“Yeah, you can. Drop the shit, I know there’s something up here, just not what exactly. That scum bag biker isn’t your husband, and you damn well know it.” His lips teetered over hers, but he wasn’t going to give them to her. He was going to make her come get it.

She considered it.

The loud crash outside sent them both scuttling apart. She knew why she did it, she was surprised he did.

One scum bag biker, as requested.

Ace busted through the door, bitching and rubbing his shin. His greasy blond hair hung half in his face, and he was wearing the same sweat stained clothes as yesterday over his broad belly. He hiked up his jeans, something he did often, having no ass to keep them from falling.

“What’s up babe? Almost lunch, I was thinkin maybe I’d get that pussy of a boss of yours to let you outta here and come out with me.”

“For what?” She didn’t even grace him by looking at his face when she answered.

“What the fuck you think?”

Nice. Such class. She’d had enough of this, and Cade was right, something was up, and now that he knew it, it was time to move on.

“What I think, Ace, is that I’m tired of this show. I’m tired of your smelly, dirty ass groping me.” She peeled his hand off her ass, and laid it on the tall counter top at the front of the office where she was standing.

“You know what you’re doin, bitch? Throwing your life in the hole? What for?” He stole a sideways glance at Cade.

All men could tell when another man was lusting after his woman, even a biker scum bag like Ace, even if she wasn’t really his woman. “I get it, you want to fuck the nice little pussy boy over there. Or, he wants to fuck you.” His hand slid down over her again, this time grabbing her crotch, hard. “I’ve been keepin you safe for a week, bitch, and you haven’t given me the time of day, and you’re gonna spread your legs for that prick?”

“Ace, get your hand out from between my legs. Now.”

“Or what? Think that little pussy over there is going to do something?”

It looked like he might. Cade was seething, the muscles in his chest were twitching. His hands were poised, like he was looking to be ready to grab something. She knew that stance. Shit, it all came clear in an instant. This was melting down in a hurry.

“How about this, asshole.” She grabbed Ace’s hand with her left, yanked the small blade she kept hidden in her waist with her right, and impaled his hand to the counter. His yowl of pain could probably be heard across the parking lot. To add insult to injury, she grabbed his balls and squeezed, hard.

“WHAT THE FUCK BITCH!”

“Yeah, what the fuck.” She looked to Cade. His eyes were narrowed, still looking like he was reaching for a sidearm, except he didn’t have one. On him, anyway. Her little display had frozen him into taking a whole new assessment of the situation.

“Let me save you the trouble, Cade.” She fished her badge out of her pocket and threw it on the counter next to Ace’s bleeding hand. “FBI.”

“Rogue, FBI agent. Wanted, FBI Agent.” Ace hissed.

“Set up, FBI agent, to you asshole.” She tightened her grip on his balls.

“I kept you safe, now what the fuck you gonna do?”

“You kept me safe so I wouldn’t spill to your brothers that you are scamming from them, so your sorry ass don’t end up dead. We traded favors. Consider our deal done.”

She released his soon to be sore and swollen balls, and backed up a step. Cade was opening a desk drawer, slowly. He pulled out a holstered Glock 33, slid it over his shoulder, taking his time closing the strap across that broad chest. Watching her. Next was the badge, he flashed it at her briefly, then slipped the leather bound clip over the belt on his jeans. “US Marshal, ma’am, glad to meet you finally.” He did a mock hat tip to her.

“Your name still Cade?”

“Yep. Your name still Lex?”

“Yep. Now what? You here for me?” Rhetorical question.

“Mmmm hmmm.” He leaned back in his usual pose again, watching.

“What are we doing with him?” Nodding towards Ace, who looked like he wanted to bolt out the door.

“Let his biker brother’s sort him out, Lex, they’ll give him the what for. What’s he been scammin?”

“Booze, cash, a little bit of personal drug stash.”

“He got any of it stowed somewhere?” He moved in next to Ace, giving him a nice ‘if you fucking move I’ll tear your ass to pieces’ grin.

“Yeah, some cases of whiskey, some cash.”

“Let’s just truss him up and leave him as a present, then. Then you and I can get down to business.” He cocked his eyebrow at her, and a strand of hair fell across his forehead. Why, did the man have to be sexy?

“Which is?”

“Well, me takin you into custody, of course.”

The look in his eye when he said it made her nervous.

“Cade, you don’t know me for shit, but, I can tell you…”

“Shhhh." He actually put his finger up to her lips when he shushed her. "I said takin you into custody, I didn’t say takin you in. Seems to me, we got a lot more, uh, sorting out to do before we figure out if you’re dirty like I was told, or gonna end up dead because someone else is.”

“You’re giving me a chance?” It was impossible to maintain her passive look at his revelation she might not go down at his hands. At least not yet.

“To prove yourself, yeah. I think a weeks worth of watchin you ought to be enough for me to smell something’s not right here. You got anything that’ll convince me you’re not, uh, dirty?”

The meaning in his words drove straight between her legs. Damn, she finally had a chance, another anybody on the side of the law finally willing to listen to her, and the only thought in her head was not him listening to her, but him fucking her. Hard.

An hour later, after leaving one scum bag biker named Ace trussed up with his sixteen cases of whiskey, an envelope of dirty cash and a note that said ‘don’t kill him, just fuck him up’ along with Cade’s business card in the back of Ace’s ratty pick up truck; they pulled into a long dirt driveway, and a neat one story rambler style ranch house with a pole barn in the back. The ride had been quiet. He didn’t ask any questions, she wasn’t going to fill up the space with anything that wasn’t going to help her out of the mess she was in.

“This your place, Cade?” Another rhetorical question. She excelled at those.

“Mmm hmm.”

“Taking a hell of a risk, there cowboy. Can I ask why?” It wasn’t like she didn’t have a hint why. She mulled how the hell to decide if having really dirty sex with him would hurt her chances, or help. That sex with him was the first thing on her mind was already not a good sign.

“I’m not an idiot, Lex. I’ve been watchin you all week, you’re pretty straight, and if I’m reading you right, which I usually do, you aren’t the type to get dirty. So, that leaves what you said, you got set up. It happens, I’ve seen it. I’m not gonna be the one to get you killed if in fact that’s the way this is goin down.”

“So now what? You have to report it, right?”

“Far as they know I’m still just biding my time, watching you. Gives me a bit to think things through.”

“How the hell did you end up there in front of me, anyway? I didn’t even know where I was going.”

“Neither did I, but after the trail kind of led me into that biker bar, I figured you went underground a little, hooked up with someone who knew the streets. Only two biker gangs round here worth a spit, and only a coupla bikers dumb enough to get stuck in the middle of a mess like this. I was at the hotel office, askin if Ace had been around when you walked in, lookin for the job. Manager already knew who I was, I told her to keep quiet, and I, uh, made an executive decision to commandeer the maintenance job so I could keep my eye on you, figure out what was going on.”

“Why didn’t you just arrest me? You knew who I was all along, didn't you?"

He parked the truck, and turned to face her. “Yeah, I knew. I’m not stupid, Lex. Only a fool who wanted to spend some time trying to figure out how to clear their name would stay on this side of the border for long, and you actually got a job, how’s that for stickin around? Figured I'd just wait, see what shook out.”

He was right, he was not stupid. It didn’t even bother her he’d just called her a fool, because that’s exactly what she had been to get into this mess. Exactly what she was being right now.

“Come on. I need a beer.” He climbed out, strode around to the front of the truck waiting for her.

He let her go ahead of him, in that typical way of his, not pushy, sort of to keep an eye on her she knew, but also, because he was all gentleman, he had been all week. Up until he decided to kiss her, anyway.

“So why you keep callin me cowboy? I don’t wear a Stetson, never been on a horse in my life.”

“You’re from Texas. Hell, we’re in Texas, every man down here is a cowboy of some kind. What do you ride?” Oh christ on a crutch did she really just say that?

He didn't even flinch, but his grin was almost ear to ear. “Mostly my pick up. Got a Harley in the garage, don’t get to use it as much as I’d like.”


He opened the door, and held it for her as she went inside. She was surprised, it was neat, modern. Lots of wood, walls alternated between deep rust colors and tans, hardwood floors, big comfortable furniture. He went towards a doorway at the back of the dining room that opened off of the foyer, waving for her to follow. The kitchen was just as clean, just as modern.

“You married, Cade?”

He snorted. “Would your ass be parked in my kitchen if I was?”

“Good point. Just wondered, this, uh…your place is nice.”

“What, men have to live in a pig sty? Talk about your stereotypes, Lex.”

He pulled two beers from the fridge, offering her one. She took a long pull, a cold beer never tasted so good. He watched her drink it, watched her lick the foam from her lips with that hungry look again.

“Weapons. On the table, now girl.” He stood in front of the stainless steel fridge across the table from her, beer bottle hanging between his fingers, staring her down.

“What makes you think…”

“I’m only going to do this one time, Lex. Don’t fuck with me. You want me to take your side, be honest. Brutally honest. All the time. I don’t give second chances. You give me what I want, I can be very soft, easy to get along with. You fuck with me, you’ll find out just how hard that’ll be.”

This was a whole new Cade, not the quiet, relaxed looking Cade that had been following her like a puppy for days. This Cade was all business, all lawman, and tough.

“Ok, cowboy, sorry. Just a habit, I usually spend most of my time undercover with dirt bags, and I have to keep an edge.”

“No edge needed with me, Lex. You’re either dirty, or your not, plain an simple, but I’m not going to pull any punches, you’re going to know exactly what I’m doing, and what I’m thinking. I expect the same from you. Clear?”

“Clear.” She pulled her service revolver out of the holster at the small of her back, laying it on the table. Then she pulled the blade she'd retrieved from Ace's hand out of her waistband, and threw it down as well. Finally, she fished the Walther P99 out of her leather jacket, the holster was custom, sewn into the lining.

“That it?”

“Yes cowboy, that’s it. I told you we were clear.”

He moved to the table, unhooking the strap from his holster. He laid his on the table with hers.

“Mind if I check myself?” He moved close to her, hands spread out in a gesture of I won’t touch you until you say so.

“Check away, cowboy.”

First, he slid her jacket off her shoulders, tossing it on the pile of weapons on the table. Then he began patting her down, except it wasn’t a cursory check like he should be doing. He bent low, starting at her ankles, giving the high tops of her black riding boots a squeeze through her jeans. Then he slid his hands up both legs, over her hips, and rose to stand nose to nose with her. His hands slid over her waist, up under her arms. His brawny hands pushed her arms up, to hold them out for him to finish his search, then he moved in over her ribs, barely brushing the swell of her breasts with the back of his hand. He had a wicked little grin when her breath caught in her throat. He pulled her arms back down, then he rested his hands on her shoulders, looking her straight in the eyes.

“So, cowboy, what are you looking for, you don’t trust me? I told you I was clear on what you said.”

His hands slid lower, not even close to patting her down, he was caressing her body. Fingers brushed over the front of her breasts, down her belly, came to rest on her hips. She stopped breathing, afraid if she let out anything, it was going to be a long slow whimper.

“I know you are. I’m not checking for anything, Lex. I’m feelin you up.”

Then his hands moved again. One moved around and gripped her ass, the other slid straight between her legs, he cupped her entire crotch in one of those brawny hands, pulling her up hard, and that whimper did escaped her. It only stopped because his lips closed over hers, swallowing that moan along with her tongue.

When he stopped, she had to lean back on his kitchen table, the feel of those soft lips still on her mouth. The heat of his hand still burning through her even after he pulled it away.

“Cade, what are you doing?”

Rubbing his hand over his face, he shrugged. “I don’t know, Lex. For once, I’m a little bit messed up. You’ve been doing that to me for the last few days.”

He kissed her again, long and slow, and his fingers ran gently over her belly.

“This is a terrible idea, Cade.” Her slight panting begged to differ.

“You sure that’s what you think? Remember, honest.”

“No.”

“Thought so. Kiss me, Lex.”

She moved her mouth to his, a little wary. This man overpowered her easily with just his essence. He tasted like a man. Spearmint gum, chap stick, aftershave and the need for sex. It tasted like heaven to her.

Pushing deeper, she teased his lips open with her tongue. He groaned into her mouth, and before she could stop herself she was grabbing the tight black t-shirt he was wearing, yanked it right out of his jeans, and pulled it over his head.

His skin was like suede, tanned, soft but a man’s skin, tough and durable. The warm musky smell of him, also kind of like new leather mixed with something spicy, sent a flood of wet between her thighs.

“You are a feisty little thing aren’t you?” He said against her neck as he reached around behind her, lifting her up into his chest.

“Not usually. It’s just you. Must be that cowboy thing.”

“Not a cowboy girl, never have been.”

“Well whatever you are, Cade, it’s making me crazy.”

“Mmm mmm mmm…that’s good to hear.”

Her shirt was lifting over her head and before she knew it, his fingers deftly unlatched her bra and it was gone. He pulled her into his chest, all that warm skin connecting together.

“Damn, that feels good. You like it Lex?”

“You have no idea.” Like it? It sucked the freaking breath out of her, left her skin tingling, every part of her body blushing with something hot.

“Oh, I think I do. You’re driving me crazy too, or I wouldn’t be doing this. I can’t get you out of my head, can’t get my dick to go back to normal for nothing, so the way I figure it, we gotta work this out a bit, before we really work things out.” He shifted, sliding her breasts down his thick pectorals, that ridge of muscle bumping against her nipples. She heard a little moan escape her.

“I like that sound, Lex, I like it alot.” His voice was gruff in her ears. “Something we gotta cover, here before we get past the point of no return.”

“What?”

“I’m inclined to think you are innocent, Lex, and I’m not an idiot. But there’s no proof yet you are, and this whole thing is enough of a hairy mess as it is. I’ll admit, I’m just addin to the confusion, but I can’t help myself. It doesn’t mean that it’s going to change anything, Lex, however this all goes down, is however it all goes down. You know that right? Whatever this is between us, that’s what it is, just between us, and it ain’t got nothin to do with the rest of it.”

“If you’d have said anything different, Marshal, I’d have put my clothes back on and kicked your ass right here.”

“What?” He actually looked surprised.

“No self respecting law man would ever let a little sex get in the way of the big picture. I know this is wrong, Cade, but we both can’t seem to get past it. I also know, you’ll have your proof soon enough about me.”

“This ain’t gonna be a little sex, Lex. I’ve been ramping up to losing it with you for days, it’s gonna take a long while to work the ache outta me you got built up.” His hands stroked her back slowly.

“Well, then let’s get started, cowboy.” She whispered into his neck. Fighting her nerves, the warm smell of his skin and his husky voice were definitely winning out.

“One more thing. I need to hear you say it, Lex.”

“Say what?”

“Just so we’re clear, you are makin this choice, on your own. Nothin to do with that badge over there.j" He leaned in close to her ear, his breath rushing over her skin. "Tell me you want me Lex.” He whispered.

“I want you Cade, I’ve been wanting you, it’s all I can think about for the last few days too. You’ve been keeping me awake at night cowboy.”

“Ahh...Lex, that’s all I needed to know.” He wrapped his hands around her ass again, yanking her hard up into his chest, bringing her lips to his.